Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Drama queen

It really shouldn't surprise me that our little fussy baby has gotten over the fussy stage and is now entering the "baby-temper-tantrum" phase... and yet, when a cute little baby makes that much of a stink... it really does never cease to amaze.

Aubrie has recently begun to object strongly when things don't go her way. Like with her exersaucer - there's a little plastic flippy book on it. She thoroughly enjoys it for the first 10 minutes or so. She's great at flipping it - open, closed, open, closed (yay, what fun). But, then she decides it must go in her mouth. Well, the flippy book isn't meant as a chew toy (like the 5 or so other chewy toys on the exersaucer), so she can't reach it. Well... as soon as she realizes that, it's a race to get her out of the exersaucer before she hits maximum melt-down phase. And, this happens EVERY time she goes into the exersaucer. She reachees for the book, smiles, then we count the minutes till she realizes it again.

Then, tonight is a great example. In her bath, she was really tired. She was playing with the little plastic fish/water scooper we have in the bath. She started rubbing her eye, with the toy (of course). So, I take it away (we were about to end the bath anyway). Holy cow!!!!! She was sooooo majorly p.o'd. Absolutely nothing would please her at that point... so we continued on with the bath routine. She screamed at the top of her lungs, kicking and punching like mad, until we finally got to the pre-bed nursing routine.

You can't do much... and yet I find myself trying so desperately to hold back the laughter. I feel bad, because she's obviously just trying to learn to express herself... but it's just darn hilarious.

I'm sure my thoughts on that will change when she starts it revving in places like the grocery store!

Monday, June 26, 2006

I know, I know...

I'm slacking again on the posts. I just haven't had much to chat about lately, and have been pretty blah all-round. The heat here is REALLY messing with things - with Aubrie's sleeping, her mood, my sleeping, my mood. We have a little portable A/C unit, but it's really not cutting it. Just when things were starting to get into a groove, we're now back to going with the flow... which I guess is pretty normal.

I'm super excited that my Baba is getting a computer for the first time! It's on its way back to Saskatchewan as we speak (well, it's actually probably already there). My uncle and cousins were here to visit and took it back with them. They'll set her up with internet for the first time. I can't wait to be able to share pictures with her, email her, and just keep in touch in general. I've always been TERRIBLE at anything to do with the phone. I'm surprised we still have a phone at our house. It really is a waste! We don't much like using it. So, I'm so thrilled to be able to keep in touch with her more via computers. I've always felt a close connection with her, as I think she's the one in my family who I am most like. Despite growing up thousands of kilometers away, I know she knows me! And now it will be fantastic that she will be able to see more of Aubrie as she grows up.

Today, despite not feeling like it, I'm headed to the gym for my workout for the SOUL reason of getting cool and out of this stuffy house!!! Plus, Aubrie really likes the mom&baby workout classes. This week is our last week of those. Then, they shut down for the summer, which is sad! We've had such a social calendar for the last few months with activities, and now they are all dieing down. We're going to have to find other things to keep our week going at a good pace. Especially if this heat keeps up... sitting around a stuffy house is NO FUN!

Happy Monday everyone! Enjoy the week!

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

The joys of strata-living

Today is a bit of a rant. I spent over an hour yesterday trying to track down paper-work (fire insurance proof) that my bank wanted for my mortgage. They ask for this every year, and every year, I have a heck of a time tracking it down. Then... to top it off, I get so frustrated doing it, that the next year, I have blocked it from my memory and can't remember how I tracked it down the previous year. All I rememember is that it pissed me off.

We live in a single-family house, but it's in a strata community. Has it's bonuses (though they start looking meeker every year), but it also has tons of annoyances. Like tracking down paper-work. Paper-work that is SUPPOSED to be given to us when it arrives, and yet every year, they wait till the AGM to pile it all on us. Well, the AGM is next January, and I can't wait that long to get this paper-work.

So, I call the strata property manager. She transfers me to the forms people. Forms people tell me to fill in a request. In filling in the request, I see that they are going to charge me $60. For something I should have been given already. That's crazy. I get mad. Forms people refuse to answer any questions until they get their request.

So, I call the bank... really mad at this point. I think the lady recognized that, because she just had me email over last year's paperwork, and said she'd track it down herself.

Now, do you think next year, I can fake the frustration to the bank, and they will inturn do it for me again? Without actually getting frustrated. I hope so.

At least now I have a record of what I did this year.

What's with all the new paragraph starts?

Aubrie tried bananas yesterday. She didn't seem to be a fan (made a horrible face every time). But, as usual, she ate it regardless. Neither full belly, nor distaste, will prevent her from doing what she loves to do - EAT!

Monday, June 19, 2006

Blank

Ok... all weekend, I've thought of things to blog about. Now that I have a minute, my mind is completely blank. Isn't that how it always works?

The weekend was good. We got tons done on Saturday. Chris is able to help out a bit now, so that makes things so much easier. It's nice to have gotten so much done! Plus, as an added bonus, my parents baby-sat so we got a nice lunch out! It's been awhile! It was nice to have some time together on Father's Day weekend. It helps me remember just how truly lucky I am to be married to such a wonderful man! I never ever ever could have imagined a better dad for our little girl.

Sunday was a bit of a bust... Aubrie had an "off" day, so unfortunately for Chris, I needed a little extra help! I had very little sleep the night before, and Aubrie wouldn't nap much... so it made for a challenging Father's Day. We went to my parent's place for a bbq. Chris got his present last weekend (a new bbq), so he just got a little present from Aubrie (a daddy mug... REALLY big, for lots of coffee!).

Wow... boring eh? If only I could remember all the witty things I meant to post over the weekend!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Panic

Today, I got an email from my dept chair. It had the tentative schedule for the Spring semester. The semester I'm supposed to be back into full time work. It made me feel so ill. I can't even imagine going back right now. I'm sure I'll feel a little more ready in a few months... but right now, it was heart-wrenching. Particularly, the thought of having a day when I don't see Aubrie AT ALL awake. That would be Monday, on my new schedule. It makes me totally panicked. It's not set in stone, so we'll see what changes get made... I'm still uneasy about it. I don't even feel like talking about it.

In other news, Aubrie has totally taken to eating solids now. I tried again yesterday, and she seemed to enjoy it. Then, today, she couldn't get enough of it. Literally!!! I finally cut her off at 3 tsps of dry cereal. She wasn't happy about that. She's a little carb-addict, just like her mom! It HAS seemed to cut down the spit up a bit, so we'll stick with it... but in a relaxed way until 6 months.

We also got to the movie theater today. Aubrie's first movie! She loved it. It was a little difficult to concentrate on the movie, with the multitude of screaming babies (it was a "movies-for-mommies" showing)... but it was still a good time. It's nice to find a variety of things to do.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Morning confessions

Ok, not sure what happened to my "Wednesday Confessions". Actually, I do know... I never really remember what day of the week it is... so I rarely remember when it's Wednesday, let alone to remember what to blog about. You'd think with all my weekly activities, I'd realize what day it is... but not really.

So, my confession today... I'm now addicted to Sesame Street. Aubrie has been an early riser. And I mean, EARLY riser! She's usually up around 5:30, so we do our first feed around 6 (I try to postpone it). She likes to snuggle on my lap awhile, so we started watching Sesame Street (which she really seems to enjoy - it's the puppets!). Now, I find myself turning it on, even during her feeding (when she obviously can't watch it). I used to love it as a kid, and I still quite enjoy it!

What's your favorite kids show?? I encourage you, today, to watch it just for the heck of it. Even if your little one(s) is/are sleeping or not around. Enjoy!!

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Try, try again

Well, looks like it'll be awhile before we can curtail Aubrie's spit up volume. I was hoping that introducing solids would help (as I've been told it strengthens the eosophogas). I wanted to wait till 24 weeks to introduce solids, but because we are doubtful that allergies will be a problem, I thought we could try it earlier. No go... Aubrie wanted NOTHING to do with cereal. So, I guess we'll give it a go in a week or so. Till then, it's LOTS of clothing changes, bibs, spit-up cloths... fun times!

The sleep training is going well, though not perfect. It still often takes her a good 10-20 minutes to go down for a nap, and sometimes as much as an hour for bed. I often have to return to her room several times. BUT, it does have lots of bonuses. I love the fact that when she cries, no matter how hard she's crying, all I have to do is return to the room and put my hand on her head, and she's quiet and her eyes close automatically. It's awesome to know that she finds that much comfort in my presence. Though, I guess that's going to be a difficult habit to break down the road! I also love that as she falls asleep, I rub her hair... when I stop, if she isn't asleep enough, she starts rubbing it herself, as if to tell me not to stop. Now, she will also start rubbing her hair if she's tired and we are out and about. It's her way of saying "sleepy time mom!".

I also love that she's adoped a new sleep position. She lays partly on her side, partly on her back, and just TOSSES her head WAY back. It looks ridiculously uncomfortable, but I know that when she turns to that position, she's DONE. She wants no more comforting, she just wants me to leave so she can sleep.

It's so wondeful to finally be at a time when I can really read Aubrie. She can't talk, but she has enough skills now to let me know what she wants. It makes things so much easier.

Now, if only she could keep her food in her belly!

Sunday, June 11, 2006

The roll

Chris edited this with music... I laughed so hard I cried!

Friday, June 09, 2006

Lil' Swimmer

Yesterday was Aubrie's first day at the pool. She had a great time! I wish I had of had a camera with me. We went with Shawna and Zoe, and the two girls had a great time playing. We'll probably start making it a weekly event.

I haven't felt much like blogging lately... just not much to talk about. And, well... too many other things to tackle. I really hope Chris' shoulder heals quickly!

Hope everyone enjoys the weekend! Sorry this entry has seemed more like a pathetic grade-school diary entry than a blog...

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

It makes my day

I love it when moms tell it like it is! Thank you Amy, for this wonderful blog today. Every mom knows your pain. I wish more moms would express ALL sides of motherhood... not just the sugar coated ones. And the great thing is, that I think most most would agree... even the "non-sugar-coated" days, we still end up going to bed thinking about how much we cherish our children. That's a wonderful thing.

Doubt

WARNING... this post is bound to be a serious downer. If you are in a good mood, feel free to come back another time. I take no responsibility for ruining a perfectly good day with my ramblings.

One thing I never ever expected about motherhood is how incredibly stressful living in self-doubt can be. Everything else about being a mom, I don't find nearly as stressful as I thought I might. But, the self-doubt... it's a killer. When I start feeling stressed about things, usually mundane things, I realize that I'm not stressed about them at all, I'm stressed about all the unresolved doubts I currently have. They eat away at you.

My list is long... but I'll name a few. I'm currently really doubting this sleep training method. I'm totally inconsistent. Consistency really is a key to sleep training. But, sometimes I stay in the room, other times I HAVE to leave (for my own sanity, or to get things done) then come back when she's cried awhile. I really doubt whether I'm doing any good here. It feels like I'm doing more harm. It's really frustrating. I could go on...

I'm constantly doubting my decision to try to get out. I know that I need to attend all my exercise classes and mommy groups... but is it screwing up her schedule more than it's helping me? Is it worth it? I want her to be adaptable... but?? I could go on...

I'm still debating whether to stick with breastfeeding, or switch to full time formula. My health has been suffering a LOT lately. But... will my health continue to be bad even if I switch to formula? Some say it will... others say it won't. She's also very frustrating to breastfeed these days, so rather than it being a good bonding time, I often find myself getting annoyed at her. But then the cost of formula feeding... not pleasant. And the guilt... oh, the guilt. I could go on...

I think you see my point. I constantly toss these battles around in my head. No wonder I've been suffering from head aches virtually every single day! My poor brain.

What a pleasant start to an otherwise beautiful day.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

She has the skill...

She just chooses not to use it!! Aubrie rolled back to front today for the first time unassisted. She's been rolling front to back quite a bit, which became more regular last Tuesday. But... she never really uses the skill much. I don't think she really values it much. She would much prefer to spend her time dancing, which she does very well. Never thought I could see someone dance so well laying on the floor. Yes, it's a talent.

The dedication went well today, despite the fact that she was an absolute bear that morning. Not a happy girl at all. But, she made it through church no problem, and did very well at the front. Pastor Wayne held her the whole time, and she just stared up at him. It was quite cute. I think she was mesmorized by his cordless head mic. Go figure. The combination of the service, and lunch with family afterwards, however, really threw her off. I'm hoping she will jump right back into the swing of things tomorrow.

And why is it, that despite my constant desire to blog about non-baby things... every blog still remains about Aubrie? I DO have other things in my life, honest. They just all seem very dumb in a blog. *Sigh*

Day 4

It's hard to believe that we've been at this sleep training thing for three full days now. It is getting better... though there were many times yesterday I was wondering why the heck I'm doing it. I could get her to sleep soooo much faster just by bouncing/rocking. Friday was really quite good, but then yesterday wasn't quite as good. Then, this morning, for her nap, she was REALLY fussy. I tried picking her up a bit (mainly because her dedication is today, so she HAS to nap before church), and I actually found she preferred the crib soothing this time. She went to sleep within 5 minutes once in the crib. So, all in all, it's going quite well. Though, I'm stressed about keeping all our commitments this week in amongst the sleep training. I'm hoping that the training we've done so far will be enough to get her through a couple disruptions this week.

I can't BELIEVE we just passed Aubrie's 20 week "birthday". 20 weeks... holy crow!!! I guess that's 5 months (according to the health clinic nurses, anyways). I was folding her clothes this morning and thinking I'm going to have to retire her 3 month clothing soon. It still fits, but I know it's only a matter of time. So sad. She had some really cute 3 month clothing.

Oh, Chris just got out of the shower, so I better go get ready for Aubrie's dedication!

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Blech!

I'm not liking this sleep training thing! I'm not liking this at ALL!!! It is the most frustrating thing... even more frustrating than when Aubrie cried hours on end. But, I know she has to learn it... so I'm trying really really hard to stay strong!

We never ended up trying it this afternoon, as I REALLY needed to get out. We went for a walk with Shawna and Zoe, and Aubrie just slept in her stroller. I figure, at least I'm not rocking/bouncing/etc her to sleep.

Tonight, it took an hour and a half. I'm still waiting to see if she's *really* asleep. Again, I ended up having to hold her hands and rub her head to get her to doze off. It's a very awkward position to have to lean over the crib that way. I really need a better set up.

I'm *hoping* that once she learns to fall asleep in her crib with the soothing, I can slowly ease off the soothing. Please tell me this makes sense. The crying thing just soooo does not work with her. We tried it tonight, and after thirty minutes, she started vomitting - a LOT. I felt so bad coming in to see her in a pool, a very large pool, of her vomit. How is one supposed to fall asleep like that? Sheesh. And then, of course, I didn't want to really wake her up by changing the sheet, so I just picked her up and wiped her off, then shuffled her down the crib. I guess she's gonna need a bath in the morning. I still feel so wraught with guilt.

*sigh* (again)

I'm off to a great big bowl of sherbert and a tall glass of wine.

I hope tomorrow is better.

Day 1...

Well, after several hours of frustration last night (again) trying to get Aubrie down to sleep... I've decided that it's time she learns how to go to sleep on her own. The rocking/walking/bouncing to sleep thing just isn't working well these days, as she really thrashes about and fights it. So, today begins the battle...

We tried at the first nap today at 9:30am. It didn't work so well... I wasn't sure whether I wanted to do the cry-it-out/check-and-console method, or the stay-in-the-room method that Tracy Hogg recommends. I started with the C&C method, but moved to staying in the room. After an hour, I thought that it just wasn't going to work. But, finally, after about 15 more minutes, she fell asleep. It required some head rubbing and a hand on her tummy, but she did eventually go to sleep without rocking.

I fear how long this will take to "catch". I fear that I won't be able to stay consistent. I fear the loss of my sanity. I know it's something she needs to learn, and I know that it's better to do it sooner, rather than later... but man am I not looking forward to it!

So... if I'm absent for a few days, you'll all know why! Wish us luck!